What does being in Alpha Phi mean to me? Being an Alpha Phi has lifted my spirits and really put me in my place. There are so many amazing women that I’ve come to meet in my one and half, almost two semesters of being in Alpha Phi. Looking back at myself before joining, I never would have imagined myself being friends or meeting any of these types of people today. Sure there’s requirements and dues, but there’s a lot of fun opportunities as well. Whenever there’s an event going on that we promote or another chapter promotes, I don’t go just because I have to; I go because I want to. I want to support their cause, I want to become more knowledgeable of their cause. I’d say I want to meet new people but that’s stretching it a bit.

I’ve always considered myself an introvert, so trying to talk to new people can be intimidating or scary. I don’t mind being by myself but having a friend there wouldn’t be too horrible. I’m friendly, I’m optimistic and like to have fun but in a chapter full of 58 strong, beautiful, knowledgeable women can be intimidating. To realize that they saw something in me when I was going through recruitment, scared as ever, is awesome. These gorgeous girls were asking me deep, thoughtful questions and what kitchen appliance I think I’d be, which is pretty cool. The fact that I can now call these women my sisters is pretty amazing. I’ve never considered myself an outgoing person; I’ll do what I’m told to do and don’t really go above and beyond that. But this past month preparing for elections for a new Executive council has really been an eye opener for me.

Whenever I would shadow people for their position, they said they could see me doing great things in that position or that I’m very organized and accountable. They see a woman that I don’t know exists yet. They see potential in me that I don’t know is even there. They look at me and tell me “you’ll do great things in this chapter, I know it,” which is fascinating to think about. I look back and don’t think I’ve done too much to stand out to these people. I’ve always thought of myself as someone who stays in the background. I’ve volunteered here and there, I’ve went to events, I’ve finished my requirements for the semester because it’s what I have to do. I was told when I first joined to get involved as soon as possible so people get to know you and they see you like to be involved or want to grow in the chapter. They can see why they chose you to be a part of their chapter to begin with.

The thing is, I didn’t truly realize that people remember those things. They remember the little things you did like volunteer to drive or sit at a table for an hour or two, or be one of the few to show up to an event. They really notice when you step up in the chapter when you yourself don’t think too much about it. They see you growing into someone outstanding while I can only see myself being someone on the outside looking in.

But I want to change that. I want to become who these women believe I am. I want to be organized, I want to make our chapter better even if I don’t know how right now. I want to put in more effort than just going through the motions. I want to do so many things, but I have to change myself first and accept who I am as a person to be able to achieve those goals. So what does Alpha Phi mean to me? Alpha Phi means pushing myself farther than I think I can and molding myself into a person that I want to meet in a class or on the streets. One day I’ll make my sisters proud of me and I’ll make myself proud to be who I am.